Electrocution

Today I was playing with a 4.5 Million Volt Stun Gun (I do not recommend this to anyone, very painful, and potentially very dangerous). This gun called the RUNT is one of the most powerful stun guns on the market. I was shocked twice with it for fun, and I thus shocked my companion with it 2 good times. Well I didn't realize when I was shocking this person the second time I was doing it for around 6-7 sec. The gun wasn't making any sounds, so i just kept pushing the button. Needless to say, it caused some damage, and I feel incredibly guilty for hurting this person. I am not talking minor, funny guilt, I'm talking real remorse for hurting someone I love.(I didn't put them into the hospital or anything, it was just a small welt on the backside).I really started beating myself up for this incident. As I was thinking about the recent event, I thought of the motive of fun and playfulness with a hint of aggressive humor I held in my head. I then got some what of a Revelation if you would. The Revelation is when does the thresh hold of fun personal aggressiveness and truly hurting someone get crossed?

Don't we do this with life all the time? We make fun of our friends, and we do things that could be boiled down to personal gratification at another expense? Yeah its part of being a flawed human being. We live in an imperfect fallen world full of pain and suffering, I get it. The question then arises; do we have to contribute? I don't know? This is hard, and can be applied to literally every facet of our lives. It is so easy to fall into the trap of being fallen when you are just that, fallen. I guess I just come from the school of; we were made to be so much more. I mean in the fact that we are Gods kids has got to count for something great. Doesn't it? If God is our Father, and He overcame the world, and then said you can do greater things then I did when I walked this fallen land because of what I did. Well doesn't that seal the deal? I guess that's the blade of this sword we walk on. We balance it carefully or fall victim to its edge at times. I want to be more than victim, I guess I truly want to be victor. I want to overcome this life with love and then come out on top. I don't want to live with the regret and remorse of being someone that is a son of God and still hurts people. I need more. I need so much more than this.... to be continued